Build your parenting plan

Answer as many of these as you can — a dozen questions, all optional. Everything you type stays in this browser tab: nothing is sent anywhere, nothing is saved, and there is no account, email address or sign-in at any point. The plan below fills in as you go, and every prompt you skip keeps its blank line so you can finish it by hand.

This template is an organizing tool, not legal advice. It is not a filing, it has no legal effect on its own, and requirements differ from place to place. Have a lawyer in your area review anything you intend to sign or submit.

← Read the blank template first

First parent — full nameWhichever of you is filling this in, or the parent named first.

Second parent — full name

Children covered by this planName and date of birth for each child, one per line.

Date this plan starts

The repeating rotationThe schedule that runs when nothing special is happening.

Time of day exchanges happenFor example 6pm, or after school.

Where exchanges happenFor example the school gate, or one parent’s front door.

How each holiday alternates between parents

The main channel for day-to-day co-parenting messages

How quickly a non-urgent message is answered

Decisions that require both parents to agreeFor example school, non-emergency health care, religious upbringing.

The proportion each parent pays of shared costs

0 of 12 questions answered

Parenting plan template

A blank parenting plan you can read straight through and fill in on paper. Every section below is a decision two parents have to make at some point; writing the answers down is what turns them from an argument into a plan.

Parents and children

Who this plan is between, and who it is for. Write full legal names — the plan should still make sense to someone reading it years from now.

First parent — full name
First parent — home address
First parent — phone and email
Second parent — full name
Second parent — home address
Second parent — phone and email
Children covered by this plan — name and date of birthList every child, including any whose arrangements differ.
Date this plan starts

Where the children live

The baseline the rest of the plan varies from: each home, and which address the children are treated as living at for everyday purposes.

Address of the children’s first home
Address of the children’s second home
Which address is used for school enrollment, mail, and registrations
Whether siblings move between homes together or separately
What each child keeps at each home — bed, clothes, own space

The regular schedule

The rotation that runs when nothing special is happening. Write it as a repeating cycle with a start date, so any future date can be worked out without asking anyone.

The repeating rotationFor example alternating weeks, 2-2-3, or 2-2-5-5.
Date the first cycle begins, and with which parent
How many nights before the pattern repeats
Which nights of the week each parent has
Whether the school-year schedule and the summer schedule differ
Any midweek visit or dinner outside the overnight rotation
How far ahead a one-off swap has to be asked for, and how

Exchanges and transport

Where the children change hands, when, and who drives. Most day-to-day conflict lives in this section, so be specific enough that no one has to interpret it.

Time of day exchanges happen
Where exchanges happen
Who does the driving each way
Whether exchanges happen at school or daycare on school days
What happens if a parent is running late, and how late is too late
How parents behave at exchanges, and who else may be present
How travel costs are shared, if the homes are far apart

Holidays and school breaks

Holidays override the regular rotation. Say which holidays matter to this family, how they are divided, and which years each parent gets them.

Holidays this plan coversInclude religious and cultural days important to either family.
How each holiday alternates between parentsFor example even years with one parent, odd years with the other.
When each holiday period starts and ends
How the winter school break is divided
How the spring school break is divided
How the summer break is divided
Whether holiday time replaces or is made up from regular time
Who covers teacher days, snow days, and unexpected closures

Birthdays and special days

The days that are about a specific person. These are short and emotionally loaded, which is exactly why they belong in writing.

How each child’s birthday is spent
Who arranges birthday parties, and whether both parents attend
Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or the equivalent day each parent observes
How each parent’s own birthday is spent
Weddings, funerals, reunions, and other family events
Whether a special day overrides the regular schedule or is swapped

Vacations and travel

Trips take children away from the other parent, sometimes across borders. Agree the notice, the information shared, and the limits now rather than three days before a flight.

How much vacation time each parent has each year
How far ahead vacation dates must be given
Who picks dates first when both parents want the same weeks
What travel details are sharedDates, destination, where the children are staying, a contact number.
Rules for travel out of the area or out of the country
Who holds passports and identity documents, and how they are handed over
How the other parent stays in contact during a trip

Parent–child contact while apart

The other parent’s time does not have to mean silence. Set an expectation that is generous enough to reassure and bounded enough not to disrupt.

How the children and the other parent stay in touchPhone, video call, messages — whatever fits the children’s ages.
When calls happen, and how often
Whether calls are private, and how a parent supports them without listening in
Who provides the children’s phones or devices, and the rules for them
What is not reasonable — timing, frequency, or content

Parent-to-parent communication

How the two of you talk to each other, and how you deliberately do not. A written channel protects both parents and keeps children out of the middle.

The main channel for day-to-day co-parenting messages
How quickly a non-urgent message is answered
What counts as urgent, and how urgent things are raised
Agreement that messages are never passed through the children
The tone both parents commit to, and what happens when it slips
Who else may be included — partners, grandparents, caregivers

Decision-making

Which decisions are made together, which each parent makes alone, and what happens in an emergency when there is no time to consult.

Decisions that require both parents to agree
Decisions each parent makes alone while the children are with them
How a joint decision is raised and how long the other parent has to reply
Who decides in a genuine emergency, and how the other parent is told
How the children’s own views are taken into account as they get older
Religious upbringing, cultural practice, and participation

Education

School touches both households every weekday. Say who the school talks to, who goes to what, and how homework survives the trip between homes.

How the choice of school is made
Which parents are listed with the school and receive its communications
Who attends parent–teacher meetings, and whether together
How homework and school supplies move between homes
How extracurricular activities are chosen, paid for, and driven to
Attendance at concerts, games, and school events by both parents
How additional learning needs and support are handled

Health care

Routine care, urgent care, and everything in between — including how a parent finds out that something happened on the other parent’s time.

The children’s doctor, dentist, and other providers
Who books and attends routine appointments
Who may consent to treatment, and for what
How quickly the other parent is told about an injury, illness, or emergency
How medication and its instructions travel between homes
Counseling or mental-health care, and how it is agreed
Who carries health coverage for the children

Childcare and right of first refusal

Who looks after the children when the parent whose time it is cannot — and whether the other parent gets asked first.

The regular childcare or daycare arrangement
Whether the other parent is offered the time first, and above what length of absence
How the offer is made and how long the other parent has to accept
Who else may care for the children overnight or after school
Who pays for childcare, and which kinds are shared

Expenses

Money is the second-most common source of conflict after time. Write down which costs are shared, in what proportion, and how a request for reimbursement is made.

Which expenses are shared between the parents
The proportion each parent pays
The amount above which an expense has to be agreed in advance
How receipts are sent and how quickly they are paid
Costs each parent simply carries in their own household
Any joint account, savings, or fund for the children
Any separate support arrangement this plan sits alongside

Information and records

Both parents keeping the same set of facts is what prevents half the disputes above. Say what is shared, and how.

Records both parents may request directly — school, medical, activity
The shared calendar or record both parents can see
Notice given when a phone number, email, or address changes
How photographs and milestones are shared between households
What may be posted publicly about the children and the other parent

Relocation

A move can undo the whole schedule. Agree the notice and the process now, while neither parent is the one moving.

How much notice a parent gives before moving
The kind of move this section applies toFor example any move that changes school or the drive between homes.
How the schedule is renegotiated if one parent moves
How the added travel time and cost are shared after a move

Changing the plan

Children grow and circumstances move. A plan with no way to change it gets ignored instead of revised.

When the two of you sit down and review this plan
How a change is proposed, agreed, and written down
How short-term changes are handled without rewriting the plan
Anything that changes automatically as the children reach a certain age

Resolving disagreements

What you do when you cannot agree. Deciding this while you still agree is the entire point of writing it here.

The first step when a disagreement comes up
Any waiting period before the issue is escalated
The mediator or neutral third party you would turn to
How the cost of mediation is shared
Which arrangement stands while a disagreement is unresolved

Signatures

Signing is the moment both parents say this is what they agreed. It is a record between the two of you — the disclaimer above still applies.

First parent — signature
First parent — date signed
Second parent — signature
Second parent — date signed
Witness or other person present, if any